Earlier this week I tweeted the below about focusing on our circle of influence.
On my Twitter, I mostly refer to my business and coaching. But focusing outside of my circle of influence when it comes to motherhood has been a huge balance for me. When it comes to our children, IMO the circle of influence is pretty small. The parents and the kids - and honestly add parents in there with caution.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I realized how natural and expected it was in our society for everyone from everywhere to have an opinion. Hello, Stranger on the street! Oh, I see a belly! Let me tell you all about how you should get your child to sleep! For the most part, this advice comes from a good place. But NO ONE is living the exact same circumstances as you. Your child's needs, your needs, your partner's needs, your living situation, your financial situation, your career situation.
The most comfortable (and confident) I have been in parenting is when I focus only on our circle of influence. Am I making a decision that is best for my child in our circumstances based on my current knowledge? When I'm making those decisions the only people I have actually found it helpful to talk it through with are my husband, my therapist, my best friend (who knows and has very similar circumstances to me), and myself (or my journal). It doesn't mean that I shut down any other advice, but take it with a great deal of caution. Don't get mad at the person for offering it, don't listen if it doesn't feel right, just hear it and move on. Unless it's judgemental or crosses a boundary for you - then by all means - set those boundaries girl!
Motherhood is A LOT. You are expected to take a child and grow them into a thriving adult. You are going to make mistakes. What motherhood is not is an invitation to anyone who crosses your path to judge everything about your decisions. My circumstances are unique to me and my family. We have a household with two working parents. I own a business and am a coach. I have two sons with two very different personalities that need different things to thrive. The only person who truly knows the right path for what motherhood should look like for me (and who will learn from mistakes along the way) is ME. Stay within that circle of influence. When in doubt, look to your kids. It doesn't matter what other people say and think. Are your kids happy and thriving or are you actively fighting to get them there? Well done Momma!
